I didn’t start pursuing photography until I was 27 years old, after leaving my job at a bank and moving to London. I tried to fit into the local artist community, but although people were open-minded, I felt I was an outsider because I came from a completely different background. I thought they were perceiving me as some kind of manager trying to take pictures, and not as a genuine artist. This same feeling persisted when I returned to Lithuania.

For example, I once encountered a serious obstacle due to the fact that I’m a self-taught artist without an art school diploma. This fact became an argument for certain art collectors not to choose me. So I asked myself, does that make my work and myself less deserving of recognition and attention?

Together with a respectable art institution, armed with a positive review written by a prominent art critic, we tried to get state funding for the exhibition twice and I was rejected both times – I was “first under the line”. Oddly, I received no constructive feedback whatsoever on what I should improve to succeed the next time. By that time, I had achieved a fair amount of success. My works were seen, I had won multiple international competitions, participated in several exhibitions abroad, and was represented by a well-known agent in the local art market. I felt I was rejected primarily because I was not part of a close-knit Lithuanian artist community. It seemed that I didn’t meet some obscure criteria.

During that time, I began to understand that in order to survive in the art scene, you have to belong to the community, to fit in and make art in a way that is acceptable to those people. However, to become an insider seemed like an arduous task, because in a small country like Lithuania there is always a great deal of competition for both attention and funding.

These experiences made me stop and rethink my choices as an artist, prompting me to revise my further journey. I felt insecure, and the dream of being able to make a living from art slowly dissipated. As a result, I have shifted my focus to other areas, beyond photography, that provide greater financial stability.