Rejection has always been part of my personal process, both as an artist and as a human being. Rejection came firstly from inside. Some parts of me rejected some other parts of me. Creativity impulses wanted to be expressed in many different ways and I always felt like rejecting some of these impulses even created my own creativity.

The worst rejection I felt was from arts universities, every time I submitted my work I was told it was never enough or always too much. Also, there was never a clear reason why my work got rejected. This whole thing was very impersonal and this feeling has no place in art. I got used to the word “unfortunately you were not selected this time”. Why? I never had the chance to find out. Everyone was basic and spoke to me as they had registered voices inside their brains. Too much or not enough, but surely not selected at this time I felt I could not reach the balance my audience – the commission – was seeking. It took time to understand that I needed to create this balance inside before being able to express it outside. During the time I felt like my artwork was rejected from the majority of arts universities in Finland, I kept trying to achieve more, for less, for different reasons. I based the creation of my art on what critics were asking me. Soon, I realized this is not the way my creativity works. I decided then to take time for myself and my work and I stopped creating for some years. I did not put energy in artworks and I focused on art management. 

However, creativity found its way back since I am currently applying for a Master’s and since I went back to creating artworks a couple of years ago. I feel ready to submit them to juries and commissions, in universities and more generally in Finland, because I feel I have learned that if I am rejected today, it means the timing is not good. Everything is subjective. It may seem obvious, it is not. I have learned through these years I stopped being an artist in the proper meaning of this word that my art impulse grew even stronger.  They used to tell me my work was not selected at “this time”. Now I make my own timing and when it does not fit, it is simply not the right time but I own my timeline and my creativity impulses are timeless.