I was 15 or 16 when I had been doing theater and circus-acrobatics for around four to five years. During a pair-acrobatics exercise, I acted as the base for another female, and it was quite successful. However, the trainers quickly intervened, saying that we shouldn’t train muscles like that. I was told that visible muscles aren’t desirable for females on stage. This really got to me, and I reacted quite strongly because it felt like my appearance and stereotypical gender roles somehow dictates which parts I could get in a theater.  

However, I’m not the type to sit down and get sad. Instead, I get sad, then angry, and then I do the opposite of what’s expected. This trait has stayed with me, and as an actor and screenwriter. This episode has led me to writing mostly characters who don’t fit the “desired” female stereotypes so some of my script’s female characters are often perceived as having more traditional masculine features.

The circus and theater industries have perpetuated stereotypical ideas of gender and look for a long time. We often stick to classic stories written in another era, and don’t always update them to fit a modern perspective of how we see the world. And is that enough? The stories may be true to the original text, but from whose perspective is it being told, and why are we not challenging them?

Not being recognized for who and what you are, feels more like rejection than being turned down for a role. While rejection is a natural part of being an actor, not being accepted for who you are or how you look is personal and much harder. Even now, as an adult, I still feel the same anger I felt as a young person, but now it’s on behalf of others who are trying to fit into a mold out of fear of rejection based on stereotypes.

As an actor and screenwriter, I strive to create stories that break away from these limiting stereotypes. The industry needs to update its perspective and open its horizons to reflect the diversity of our world.